Merry Christmas baby boy, I hope you’re having the best Christmas in heaven. How I wish you was opening presents from Santa. I’ll never get to see your little face light up to toys or probably the wrapping paper or box but it wouldn’t matter as long as I see your little face it would make Christmas that bit better. You will always be my baby and I miss you more each day. I’ve got so used to living without you I get scared I may one day forget when i lived with you. But it wasn’t just 17 days with you it was much more than that. It was 9 months of labour, it was making you the beautiful little boy you are. Sometimes I think, what if I didn’t fall asleep that night. What if you was born on your date, what if I put you in the cot, what if Tracy stayed at home too that night would could she have helped? I will always what if myself and always wonder. But for certain I’ll always love you. Merry Christmas son I love you all the way to heaven and back. Love your mummy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx