Before:

i cried myself to sleep and prayed to god to be given a little bit of happiness as I was still heartbroken over loosing my bubba - I begged to be given a second chance 💔

The reveal:

as soon as demi asked me to come to the doctors with her I just knew she was gonna tell me she was pregnant 🤰 i was so happy and thought my prayers had finally been answered!! I asked for a bit of happiness and was given a huge bundle of joy - I no longer cried myself to sleep over what could of been and instead was so excited for what is yet to come. I wouldn't have been able to get through the pain if it wasn't for Oliver 💔

Finding out he was a baby boy 💙

The pregnancy went so quick! Before I knew it Demi had a huge bump! I was so proud 😊 I wanted a niece but Demi just knew he was a baby boy! Me and Demi fell out because I let her down but we sorted it out like sisters do! And I found out Demi was right! He was a baby boy!! 💙💙💙 I was over the moon to be have a nephew just 10 minutes down the road from me, I would day dream about taking him on days out, sunny picnics in the park, I was gonna be his favourite!!!😊💙

The Pregnancy:

The pregnancy went so well!! There were no complications and he was just perfect! Because Demi's so tiny we could literally see every kick! He was so active I would put my hand on Demi's belly and he would kick it off! 😂 Definitely a footballer we would all say, or a rave head cos he loved music 🎶😂 demi brought everything x10! He was so spoilt with love!! Demi would label everything and wash it about 6 times - everything was perfect and waiting for him!

The Birth:

5/7/17 I got a phone call at about 7:45 in the morning - I missed the call but jojos mum saw it and rang Demi - I got woken up to the exciting news that Demi's waters had broke!!🎉🎉🎉 we all new he was gonna be early, he just couldn't wait for cuddles and neither could we!💙 Demi gave birth to her beautiful baby boy at 4:20pm and I was so proud!! When I held Oliver for the first time, I tried so hard not to cry, but I just thought he's here for life now, nothing's ever gonna hurt him and he was so perfect!! I'll never forget how tiny he looked wrapped up in that little blanket, and the big smiles on proud mummy and daddy's faces! It was a magical moment!!

Hospital Trips:

As perfect as he was, Oliver was quite floppy and very sleepy we just assumed it was because he's a new born and that's what all new borns are like? We walked down the midwife anyway just to make sure he's okay. Demi came out of the room and broke down in tears. As soon as I saw that obv course I broke down in tears too 😰😰😰 surely he's okay? Then Demi said he might have jaundice so to take him to the hospital. We took him and Demi was in bits! She couldn't even look at him without bursting into tears! Oliver had mild jaundice and was placed under the light, mummy was worried but Ollie loved it!! 💙 Slowly but surely he got better and was allowed to go home for good 😊

The hardest moments of my life 💔

Without going into detail.
I will never forget that phone call! It seems so unreal even though I know it happened I just can't accept it 😢 He was safe, nothing could hurt him, so why was he taken to heaven 💔 Saying goodbye was the hardest thing I've ever had to do and it will stay with me forever 😰 If I feel like this how must demi and Charlie feel 😥😥😥 he's such a loved baby boy! And I know with all my heart that he's looking over me and bean to make sure we are okay! 💙

Message to Oliver 💙

I love you SO much and my heart will forever be missing a piece until we meet again beautiful boy 💙 17 days is all we got with you but I will treasure them 17 days forever! You are too precious for this world our little angel 💔 Words can never describe the pain in my heart! I just wish love could bring you back Oliver because you would be here within a heartbeat!! Our lost boy in neverland 💙💙💙